Why the Trayvon Martin Case Scares Me

Note: I have several friends in law enforcement.  I would trust them with my life.  More importantly, I would trust them with my son's life.  But, like most mothers, I do not necessarily trust strangers with my son's life.

I doubt that there is a parent in the United States who hasn't been emotionally touched this week by the tragic death of Trayvon Martin.

President Obama's commented, "You know, if I had a son he would look like Trayvon."

Dwayne Wade (Miami Heat basketball player) said, "As a father, this hits home. This situation hit home for me because last Christmas, all my oldest son wanted as a gift was hoodies. So when I heard about this a week ago, I thought of my sons. I'm speaking up because I feel it's necessary that we get past the stereotype of young, black men and especially with our youth."

Boo is biracial, but is very light and (to use a politically incorrect term and concept) can "pass".  So, I do not have the exact fears that Gayle King described when she talked about having "The Conversation" with her son.

My fears are much more like the scene in the movie Adam, when he is confronted by the police and has the meltdown that spectrum moms know so well.  (If you have not yet seen the movie, I highly recommend it.  Boo watched part of it with me, but Adam's meltdown in the lawyer's office upset him so he stopped.  I may try it again with him soon, though.  It depicts dating issues (gulp!) which is another conversation we need to have soon.)

I wasn't scared as much when Boo was younger, because he never ventured anywhere alone and unsupervised.  If I wasn't with him, he would have a teacher or other trusted adult with him to intervene.

But now he is 17.  He has a learner's permit.  He starts college in the fall.  He will move in to the dorms.

I will not be there to help him regulate his behavior.  I will not be there when (not if) someone thinks he is acting strangely.  I will not be there to help him interact with authority figures.

To say it scares the crap out of me is an understatement.

Yes, there are resources.  Yes, I am trying to teach him every single thing that I can.  Yes, he attends classes to learn independent living skills.

And yes, I am still a very scared mom.