Ah, Structure, Thou Art a Heartless Bitch

Actual family calendar would have less 'white space'

One of our family's favorite shows is "The Big Bang Theory".  In one episode, Sheldon (who is widely believed to be an Aspie) says, "Ah, gravity, thou art a heartless bitch."

I feel the same way about structure.

All of us find comfort in structure.  The predictability means that we don't have to quickly adapt to unplanned scenarios.  Most of us, though, can muddle our way through the unforeseen, and may even enjoy the surprises along the way.

MOST of us.  Not so much with folks on the spectrum.

I saw a post on Facebook last night from a friend who was confessing to feeling like a terrible mother.  She was looking forward to going back to work today after the long Christmas weekend, primarily because it provided her with a break from her child.

Been there.  Done that.  Got the t-shirt.

Oh, yea.  Still there and still wearing the t-shirt.

Boo is 17, and Christmas break is still kind of rough.  He gets bored, starts acting up, gets fussed at (by me), then gets agitated.  When he gets agitated, his annoying unusual behaviors get more pronounced.  When the behaviors get worse, I lose my patience and fuss more.  I think we see the beginning of a pattern here.

Anyway, my message to those with younger kids is that it does get better.  He is old enough to amuse himself for longer periods of time, and can express that part of his problem is that he is bored.  He can read or play games for a few hours, and is more likely to go do things with his friends.

Yet, in the back of my mind is still this thought...8 more days until school resumes.  Hey, I said it gets better.  I didn't say it gets wonderful!

Author's note: As I was working on this, my favorite Autism Army Mom posted this.  Great minds think alike.  Or maybe we just go crazy together in sync.

P.S. The Onion has a great (sarcastic) piece on the need for structure for people with autism.  If you are not overly sensitive, you might get a kick out of it.  If you insist on political correctness, don't say you weren't warned.